Self, Don't Let It Go

"I took pride looking at the pieces both mine and from my friends; but after some few minutes, I felt the whole ‘thing’ is losing its soul. "

Today, I had the luxury of time to check on the blog through the bird’s eye view. When I look at it, I thought, “Oh cool! Smudges on my notebooks are now published live over the web”. I took pride looking at the pieces both mine and from my friends; but after some few minutes, I felt the whole ‘thing’ is losing its soul. So, just for this post, I’d like to depart from achieving financial freedom for Filipinos, or saving, or investing or anything about money; and just take this Monday as it is; chill and laid-back. After all, this place should have been a home to be better through an inspiring environment like taking a cup coffee in a cozy coffee shop.

Last Saturday, I went to my favorite coffee shop in Dubai but came short after the bartender already took the day off. I’m supposed to start the marathon of whines but the place was way too positive that all my negative energies shrunk and vanished in an instant. I isolated myself in a corner and appreciated my existence. I remember childhood. I remember the old good days and how great it felt like to be free from worries, stress, and life’s complexities.

What happened then? Just like the blog (full of information, formal language & etc), I felt disconnected with myself.

Walking along corporate alleys seems alluring with all the glitters of promotions, good pay, and a network of people. It is very easy to lose sight of that blue sky when you’re surrounded by tall buildings, skyscrapers, or you have fancy foods on your plate and material indulgences at your grip. I’m not sure if this holds true for everyone, but when my attention is fixated with my immediate perks, I tend to lose track of the essentials.

Aside from the tangible distractions, life advanced issues also stole me away. I don’t know if it’s just part of growing up or entering the adulthood that made me think less of my inner being (I hate to use that word) or there’s just a lot of things which need to be taken care of when you’re no longer a kid. Over-thinking the future kills the present. When I hear the word ‘dreams’, ‘goals’, ‘future’ I got pumped up with incredible excitement (which is good); but sometimes, consume my strength to just LIVE AT THE MOMENT.

Sometimes, I envy that kid I usually see in the mirror some time 15-20 years ago. He has tons of questions about the world yet face day in, day out grappling fear down. He knows that there’s a great future which needs to be discovered and worked upon but continues to live in the present appreciating the simple things around him. He got a rich poignant past but place them into picture frames he usually looked at for inspirations, joy, and motivations.

When I looked at the blog and thought it was losing its soul, I probably saw myself in it. Injected with massive positive materials, inspirations, and guided information, I transcend into a better individual but along the process my core has been ripped off. www.brewingabetteryou.com has improved (at least in some parts) but it communicates the way internet market talks. It’s not what it is created for. This is not what I am created for.

If it is what I thought it is now, my apology. I need to talk like real people do, dream big yet embrace that kid in me. In our pursuit of our aspirations, we’d pass through phases which could alter, improve, introduce changes in us; while this should be welcomed, I thought we should preserve and persevere our core, that inner voice which makes us who we truly are.

Post-script: This shall not pass editing to keep its randomness